I am a mom. That is what basically define me right now. I used to be a woman who is working, i’ve worked on a publisher once and spend most of my working record as a mandarin teacher. I already start my teaching career since college, and it gave me pretty good extra money ;).
I also used to be a singer, until i married my husband and he forbid me to sing (on a stage) again. As a singer, i already record my album once, with my nasyid group called Bestari, then record some songs for The Hermes, with Endy Daniyanto. I kept recieving this tempting offer to sing again, but my husband still hold his words, so no stage for me again, then. Kind of sad, of course, considering it is pretty much define who i am, but yeah life is about making sacrifice sometimes.
i write. I don’t want to put past tense on that, because words sometimes becomes real. I remember falling in love with Indonesian movie, starring Dian Sastro and Nicholas Saputra called Ada Apa Dengan Cinta (AADC) with the fact how Rangga loves reading and writing poet. You can describe the way you feel by disguising it into a poem. You can make it blur, or straight to the point. You can make it beautiful and adding some personal phrase that you made. I remember buying a note book that have a red hard cover and start writing poem in it. I think most of them was about my first love. Yeah, i fell in love for the first time at high school (kinda late blomer), and stay in love for the same person until college. So, everytime i write, he is the only person appear on my thought. What a shame :p. After graduating and working on a publisher (as a secretary), i found this one writer Fajar Nugros (who currently directs some movies). He used to write a lot of fictions on his facebook notes. I did not remember how i met him on facebook, but he is the one who inspire me to also write fiction. I wrote my first fiction, actually on high school. It was a kids fiction, about a monster called Loath hahaha.. i wonder where i kept that writing. I wrote by hand that time, so i guess it’s already gone. I used to write a lot back then, couple of my writings even published on several books. But since two years a go i start writing less. I didn’t write fictions anymore, i just can’t. I have reasons actually why i can’t write fictions anymore, but let it be my own secret :p. No, i dont want to quit writing fictions. To write a whole novel is still one of my dreams, it still on my to do lists. It dont have to be published, but i want to make it as a book. I mean, i probably will self publish it if no publisher want to take it. Oh yeah, it was not complete telling about my writing career by not mentioning this writer community i have. Me and bunch of cool people made a writer comunity called The Hermes. We used to write A LOT back then, you can read our writings on our website: The Hermes.
I am a wife. i survived a crappy romance plenty of times until i met my husband. My life was pretty complicated and full of drama back then and i am SO GLAD that i never gave up. Yes there were times when i think i can’t stand my life for being so pathetic and unwanted, but i never thought of commit suicide, Alhamdulillah. I was just cried, A LOT. I am a crier (is that even a word? :p), you can not imagine how i cry over everything even until now. I remember crying a lot after doing Shalat. I asked for mercy and begging and begging and begging like crazy to Allah to guide my way out of that crappy romances and find my destiny. And here i am, married to a man who really loves me for me. I used to think that i will get married to a man that i dont really love, and i said yes because i have to, considering my age. BUT Alhamdulillah it didn’t happen. I love my husband so much that i thankful for my past to be exist, because that way i can understand why ALLAH put me in such a sad situations. I need to learn so much to finally met this guy and be grateful about everything that he is and everything that he is not. Now we are happily married and to add that, ALLAH gave us a beautiful little daughter, Sabriyya. And that made me, a mom.
I am a mom. A full time one. I quit my job since 4 months pregnant with Sabriyya and never regret a thing until now. This is what i want for a long time. To raise my kids on my own, to make their meal by my own hand, and to educate them to be a good people. And i feel so blessed that i could do it now. I enjoy being with Sabriyya all the time, talking with her, playing with her, seeing her grow, bath her, and see those smile blooms everytime i appear. I even enjoy seeing her cry when i leave the room hahaha.. that shows how much i meant to her.
OK, that’s pretty much it. Basic things about me. My first writings for this 30 days challenge, i guess it’s challenging seeing the fact that i start writing this post at 8 in the morning and finish it almost at three in the afternoon. Bhahahaha… not bad, huh? And why do i keep writing in english? okay, next post should be (no, must be) all in bahasa Indonesia. See you next post 😉